I can doesn't mean I will

A hard look at the stories we tell each other, and ourselves

It happens so often.

I'll hear or see something about someone's accomplishments. Or a friend will tell me a story of how they did something really tough.

It could be anything. A new lifting record, a marathon, a long hike, or a new business.

And like clockwork, the first thought in my head is always:

Psh, I can do that. How hard can it be?

Honestly, I have a weird relationship with this thought. On one side, I'm proud of this being my gut reaction.

One of my core beliefs is that it pays to be an optimist.

To have a certain level of overconfidence in your abilities. To trust in your gut that you can bring something new into existence. To be a little ignorant in the face of constraints.

But thinking that way also has a dark side.

If you keep thinking "I can do that" but never actually "do it", that confidence can quickly become hollow. Empty words. And before anyone else notices your lack of credibility, you will.

I've realized that a better, follow-up question to that thought is asking: will you?

It applies to most challenging adventures in life:

• Yeah you can run a 10K, but will you?
• I'm sure you can leave your job to start that business, but will you?
• Of course, you can exercise every day, but will you?

And it's okay to not actually go and do everything.

You can't chase every goal, so sometimes you can have confidence in your ability to execute on a particular goal but still not chase it.

But let's stop deluding ourselves for the things that truly matter to us.

Next time you hear that thought in your head, make sure there's a follow up.

Yes, but will you?